A Love like no Other

This past Saturday I lost my beloved dog Bella. She came to live with us in April of this year. She showed up next door at my parents house in the middle of night and greeted my dad by diving into the hot tub with him. She was a darling Shih Tzu and looked a lot like a hairy mop sometimes. I was on out of town with my sister Alexa when Brooks texted me a pic of her and asked if we wanted to keep her. I was reluctant becuase with two small children I really did not want more clean up! But when I got home I feel in love with this happy little hairy mop!
Bella quickly became my dog. She followed me everywhere I went. She sat under my chair while I ate. She waited outside of the shower until I got out. For a while it drove me crazy! But, I came to love my little dog. She made me smile when she'd run to me. There was nothing that made that dog happier than being loved on by me.
Two weeks ago today she gave birth to litter of puppies. I knew immediatly that morning that labor was begining and Bella was very anxious and restless. When the contractions began she would only calm down when I stayed with her and coaxed her through it. I stayed there on the floor beside her all night until she had her 3 little puppies.
Bella was a wonderful mother to her puppies. She quietly tended to their every need and protected them. I thought she would become very procupied with them and would not spend as much time with me. But, I was wrong. The very next day every moment she wasn't with her pups she spent following me around, lying beside me on the couch or on the floor in the kitchen. She was a wonderful little dog.
On Saturday, me, Brooks, and the kids decided to head to the mailbox to get some fresh air, somthing we like to do on Saturdays (it's a long walk). We were walking up there talking with Caleb and were about 20 feet away when I realized Bella had crossed the street ahead of us. She began running back to us when she heard the car but she couldn't make it back to us in time. It was the most horrifying and traumatic thing I have ever witnessed.
I said goodbye to her that day and we burried her in our backyard in the sunshine. I can't remember this last time I cried so much. I couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat. The truth is I never really knew how much I loved that dog until she was gone. I miss her deeps sighs and hearing her pitter patter around the house.
It breaks my heart to hear Caleb ask me, "Mommy, where's Bella?" and I have to tell him, "She's gone to Heaven baby." And he replies, "But, her miss her puppies."
We have been tending to her puppies around the clock. I am glad to have that part of her still remaining here. I see her in their small dark eyes.
After losing Bella, I began thinking a lot about how she loved me. About how she had joy whenever she saw me. Even when I got mad at her for getting into the trash or making a mess in house, it never changed her love for me. When I ignored her and carried about my business of the day, it never made her love me less.
I have reallized through this great loss that this is similar to Christ's love for us. He came here to sacrifice himself for me and for you. His love is so deep that he loves us no matter what we do. He loves us despite the many times we ignore him or carry about our business rather than his. He welcomes us back into his arms when we curse him or fall away. His love is like no other.
I thank him for giving me my little Bella. Our time together was short, but her impact on my life will never be forgotten. She will greatly and tremendously missed. I hope that I can honor her by taking the very best care of her sweet little puppies. And I hope to be able to love others as Christ loves me.

OK.....let's get blogging again!

Ok, I am going to finally blog again!

It has been forever since I blogged and A LOT has happened since then! I had my beautiful daughter Sarah Kate! She is such a wonderful sweet baby and she has been such a blessing to our family. We had a wonderful Christmas season and I returned to work on January 13th.

The weekend after I went back to work Sarah Kate started getting sick. She progressed through the week with a stuffy nose and I tooked her to the doctor and he prescribed a decongestant. She kept getting worse and wouldn't eat. That Friday I was waiting on the doctor when he got there, and he was very concerned. He sent us straight to the hosipital and they started an IV to get fluids in her ASAP. Her color started to get much better but then we noticed the breathing problems. She got progressively worse through the night and we were transferred to the Children's Hospital.

That saturday was a very very hard day. Sarah Kate got worse and worse. She stopped breathing on the way to the hospital and was entabated. She was put on a ventilator and went into septic shock. She had to have a blood transfusion. She was moved from the ventilator to an oscillator. the next 24-48 hours after that were a blur...but slowly things began to improve. Each day seemed a little better. She was on life support for 8 days. 8 long days.

But God was so sufficient to us in this time. He provided us with patienence, guidance and friendship. The church was so wonderful to us. God's people truly were the church to us. They brought food or just came by and talked with us or made us life.

It made the time go by so much easier.

After two full weeks Sarah Kate made a full recovery and we were able to come home! We were so happy to be home!

As a family we also decided that I would not return to work. It became incredibly apparent that no matter what we had to sacrifice, I had to be home with the kids. So here it is, 7 weeks later, and I am loving being a stay-at-home mommy!

It is so wonderful! It is SO much work, bt it is the most rewarding job I have ever had. Caleb is learning so much and they are both changing so much everyday! God is so Good. He saw all of this from the very beginning. He is so provisional and awesome and incredible.

I know I don't deserve all he has given me. I have not earned it. I can't earn it. He is a great and wonderful God and I am so thankful to know him and be his.