Changing My Mind

So, I have changed my mind. About a pretty big deal. I have been planning throughout this pregnancy to go with the repeat c-section. But over the past few weeks I have been having second thoughts.

I had to have an emergency section with Caleb due to an umblical rupture that caused me to hemorage and Caleb's heartrate to drop fast. It was the most tramatic experience of my life. I was completely unprepared for a c-section and truly felt robbed. If I am being honest with myself, I would have to say I really had major postpartum depression afterwards because I was so unhappy with what happened and it in turn with the c-section recovery made nursing Caleb incredibly difficult.

When I found out Sarah-Kate was on her way, I decided on the repeat section mainly becuase of the uncertainty of what would happen and being able to schedule her delivery. But as it has gotten closer, I keep thinking about what happened with Caleb and how badly I wanted a natural birth. So I started researching...

Attempting a VBAC is typically not chosen becuase there is a risk of uterine rupture, which at its worst can result in infant and maternal fatality. The chance of this happening to someone with my type of incision is actually less than 1%, but it is still a risk.

However in reasearching the risks for a VBAC, I have also been studying the risks of a repeat section:
1. Maternal death rate while low, is higher than that of a VBAC
2.There are often many complications associated with c-sections which include risks of anesthesia with surgery, there are risks of operative injury, infection, postpartum pain, effects on subsequent fertility, and of psychological morbidity.
3. C-sections limit the number of subsequent pregnancies. Due to the scarring of the uterus, most doctor's recommend no more than 3 c-sections.
4. To the baby there is a risk of respiratory distress and injury from the knife during the operation.
A lot of doctor's perfer C-sections though because of malpractice fears.

So this gave me alot to think about. This Thursday I was truly distraught as I mulled over this in my mind. I had a doctor's appointment that day and unfornately my regular doctor was called out to an emergency, so I couldn't talk to her about it. So that night before I went to bed and after reading countless articles on line, I decided to pray about my decision and get some sleep.

When I woke up on Friday, I had a peace about the decision. I realized there there were risks either way, so I should instead look at the positives:

With a VBAC:
1. I would be able to experience a natural birth like I have always wanted.
2. There are less complications with breast feeding associated with natural delivery
3. The excitment of not knowing when it will happen.
4. less likly to cause limitations on future pregancies (Brooks and I would really like 4 kids)

With a C-section:
1. Convienece: me and all of my family would be able to plan around the delivery time.
2. My pregancy discomforts would be over in 2 weeks.

The positives to the VBAC seem to far outwiegh those of the repeat c-section. So I have decided to attempt the VBAC, as long as my doctor allows it. I know I may end up with a c-section anyway (Doctor's will not allow you to labor as long without progress with a VBAC due to the risks to the previous incision) at least I will know I tried.

Ultimately the most important thing is a healthy baby.

So this means.....who knows when Sarah-Kate will debut!

Please be in prayer for me and the baby for a safe, healthy delivery for mommy and baby.